I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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