know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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