Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
