I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
