Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Welp...herpes.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
