So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
