I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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