You just made me feel so damn special
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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