I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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