There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
