ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
