you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
