my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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