I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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