all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
