i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
