I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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