she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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