i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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