Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
