Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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