theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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