So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
