I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
