Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
