I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
