Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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