he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Green mimosas i think yes
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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