lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
