did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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