my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
