I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I deserve this hangover.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
