I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
