This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my being single is dangerous.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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