Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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