so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
