I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Randomize