I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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