Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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