I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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