I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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