Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
