This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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