Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
