Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize