i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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