I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
