I hate all girls vehemently.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
