And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just gift wrapped bread.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
