You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize