Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
