I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
