so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
