Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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