Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
