just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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