There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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