i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
