it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
