Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
